In Darkness, I Walked
In my time, I was raised in a Christian home, went to church and had the whole upbringing of such. But, then I got into metal which changed everything (haha). In my school life, I grew up feeling very isolated, feeling like I didn’t belong, and had a history of being bullied and just outcasted it seemed. I began to lose faith when getting kicked out of a church because the pastor was lying and cheating on his wife and hypocrisy came everywhere from the elders. In this I lost contact with my best friend, the pastor’s son, and lost a lot of positive connections I had with people there.
In the midst of this I still felt lonely, depressed, and began to hate myself and felt very misanthropic. No one seemed close to me, not friends, not family… not anyone. Everyone I loved felt missing, and none were there for me, but black metal and death metal and all things extreme. I grew obsessed with the occult, satanism, witchery, ancient pagan beliefs, and all sorts of dark philosophies explored verily by the music I was into. Because of these things they became involved in my life when no one else was and they were there for me when it seemed like no one would get close. In this I grew vastly interested with studies in those things to the point where they’d control me.
I remember it all quite well.
Writing satanic poetry, literature about the antichrist and son of satan with very hate filled affliction towards everyone and everything, especially Christians. If it wasn’t that I was then it was exploring the old pagan beliefs of my ancestors to gain a closer sense with nature and what not. Those things were clearly getting the better of me more than all else. If anything, at this point Christianity was just trivial knowledge about the Bible and religious history. I grew up with an immense amount of knowledge of these things so it’s easy to get wrapped up knowing about Jesus rather than personally knowing Him. In return, I began to have a very misfitting connection with people, not feeling close to my friends who didn’t spiritually understand me or family that hated what I liked. Yet, when my family began to scold and reject me for the being obsessed with satanic metal music, no one seemed to be there for me when I needed it most. I had nothing else to cry out to but God begging for Him to change my heart and let me live again and get back on the right track.
It wasn’t easy, but eventually I found help
And that was Christian black metal, which if originally thought was a joke and an oxymoron or just not real. But, once I started listening to it, I found that it was amazing, bands like Horde, Holy Blood, Frost Like Ashes, Antestor, Hortor, and many more became my favorites. And eventually I stumbled across Vision of God Records around a year or so after I became a born again Christian and found a great place for music and merch.
And now here I am, a new man with a renewed heart and spirit who once walked in darkness and evil but now stands as living testimony of how God can take anyone and redefine them to make a difference in the world. When I found this website I knew that I was going to be hooked and found tons of Christian metal to amuse me and help me in my spiritual walk with Christ day after day. My love with Christian metal got me more invested to live life in Christ Jesus, read the Bible more, something a lot of people don’t actually do, and gain light and a sense of the world around me. With Christ at my side I honestly feel like I know what it means to live and love again and feel more alive than ever.
Thanks again for being an awesome team of people who wish to get the word out through metal to a world that needs it truly. I walked the path of darkness and know what it can do, so to see you wish to reach to those means a lot to me since you guys helped me out there with that. God bless you guys I wish the best regards to your ministry.
The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. -Isaiah 9:2